GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
