Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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