She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
