Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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