U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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