guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
should my penis look like a turkey
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
