dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
