he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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