I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
