I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
