I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
