she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
