Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
