Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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