I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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