Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
