drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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