I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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