I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
