There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize