he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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