I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
