"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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