my shit smells like andre
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
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