dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
