Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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