So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
