I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
