YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
