OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
