when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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