oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Non-Jews are for practice
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
