hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
