she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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