Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
