The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
