He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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