Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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