Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
3pm strippers are depressing
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I have post one night stand depression
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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