is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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