It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
