I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
