if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize
