she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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