i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
