When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I have aggressive nipples.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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