I'd wear matching sweaters with you
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize