WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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