His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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