Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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