that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
zippers are such a cool invention
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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