We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
