You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize