All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
