I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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