What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize