ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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