dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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