Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
