Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
